QuikTips by Subject:The Think Space
The Think Space is a plan to help children take responsibility for their own behavioral choices while offering adults a safe and responsible way to remove themselves from the emotional loop of misbehavior. QuikTips Bundles
QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. Bundled in small packets, and arranged by topic for easy reference. Main Menu
Everything you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. |
What are QuikTips?QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles, written by Calvin and Carolyn Richert, that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. All techniques presented meet strict scientific and ethical guidelines and have been carefully "road-tested" for effectiveness in everyday use. Every method is thoroughly positive and, when used as intended, can help children develop skills of self-management, confidence, empathy and the many other positive character qualities needed in becoming well-adjusted, productive adults. Also available for purchase: QuikTips Bundles are pre-printed small packets, arranged by topic for easy reference. Teaching Virtue
Recognizing "the cry" as positive therapyAmil is crying...again. You don't know why, so you attempt to pacify him with, "There's no reason to cry." 
Stop right there - and think. You mean well. You might even have spoken patiently. But, think about the messages you are sending:
Helping children manage their own strong emotions: Part 1 of 5"He gets so angry sometimes, I hardly know what to do!" confided a mother about her 5-year-old son. "Actually," I responded, "you first need to be glad that your son has strong feelings and that he feels the freedom to express them." "That helps me," she mused, "but how do I help my son deal with his strong feelings?" Of course, she doesn't want her child to hurt himself or others - or their property - in a fit of anger. What to do?
Helping children resolve feelings that trigger anger: Part 2 of 5When a young mother worried that her son "...gets so angry, I hardly know what to do!" she spoke for many parents. In that earlier article, we offered ways to help children handle their anger. In this article we look at several core feelings that generate anger, especially in children, and offer ways to reduce them.
Understanding the anatomy of strong emotions: Part 3 of 5Is anger a friend or an enemy? Believe it or not, it can be both! In the first anger article, we offered ways to help children handle their anger. The second article explored typical feelings that lead to anger in children. Now we expose some 'self-talk', written as unspoken thoughts hidden inside your child.
Successfully managing your own strong emotions: Part 4 of 5The question was simple, but very real: "You have given us some great tools to use with our children (see anger articles 1-3). But, how do I handle my own anger when my child does things that get to me?" Remember, anger is complicated. After all, it's powered by conflicting emotions -negative and positive - both of which supply energy for whatever you do with enthusiasm. Anger, then, is what can happen when energy and enthusiasm are frustrated into a kind of stalemate in which they cannot be appropriately expressed or fulfilled. That being the case, anger can be the enemy of reason, leading us to say and do things that actually defeat our goals.
Two hidden factors: Part 5 of 5"You say that anger is a choice?" the caller wondered out loud. "That may be so, but it sometimes seems almost impossible to control," she responded. While we usually can't control the things that trigger our anger, the more we understand this emotion, the more prepared we are to manage it in positive ways. Here are two subtle factors about anger that apply equally to children and adults.
"What do you say, Joey?" you ask your child as Uncle Joe hands him a new Webkins tiger. Every parent at least tries to teach his child certain courtesies: "Thank you", "Please" and "You're welcome" are among the most common. 
However, there are several less common courtesies that can make an impressive difference in the way your children interact with other humans. We'll share some of our favorites in four articles: ‘Accepting & Declining Favors’, ‘Requesting Favors’, ‘Attentive Conversation’ and ‘TableTime Manners’.
Not long ago, I watched a first-grader walk up to a food counter to refill his plate. The server courteously asked, “How may I help you?” The child politely responded: “I would like another hamburger and more beans.”
Now, the child could have just said, “Another hamburger and more beans” and no one would have noticed. But, the fact that he took the time to honor the server with a complete sentence and properly include the word ‘would’ said something special about his training as well as about the kind of person he is becoming. However, such finesse comes only with careful, specific instruction. Here are two common situations where ‘would’ can be used effectively. |
Member Login
