Our plan includes:
-A regular time for bed
-A chart that lists all the events in the bedtime ritual
-Playing the same music as the cue for quiet time
-Using only Quiet Correction after the quiet time cue has been given

We also reinforce that plan with OTR to help form a new habit, and Get Ready, Get Set to help kids make the transition from evening activities to bedtime.

Managing fussing and fighting.

Fussing and fighting between siblings is normal and very common. Moreover, we must realize that kids may be modeling the way their parents and other adults solve problems!

In any case, DWD offers some Magic Handles to help solve conflicts quickly and gracefully…

-Use the words "please" and "next"
-We use "May I please be next?"

-Use the word "watcher" as Positive Redirection
-We use "How about you being a watcher this time?"

-Use The Three-Question Quiz
-We say "You can fuss, ignore or work it out. Which is the best choice right now?"

Arresting the whining habit.

From the outset, children behave pragmatically. In other words, if a behavior works (gets them all or part of what they want), they repeat it. If it fails, they eventually discard that behavior and go on to the next experiment. Habits, then, are nothing more than successful experiments repeated. Whining is traditionally one of the more successful experiments children use because it is extremely difficult for adults to ignore. However, Intentional Ignoring, along with OTR helps establish a new habit that replaces whining.

Handling temper tantrums safely and effectively.

Trying to reason with the child during temper tantrums is neither productive, nor is it healthy for the child or the child's parent. What to do? The Think Space is an excellent tool allowing the child both the time and the space to freely drain pent-up emotion without unnecessary interference from a supervising adult. It also enhances the emotional development of the child.

Transforming stubbornness into willingness.

Childhood stubbornness is commonly motivated by two factors - fear and control. When stubbornness is a product of fear, the adult is encouraged to either help the child begin the requested task or wait to arrange an OTR exercise. When it is a control issue (which is normal), taking the child to The Think Space helps transform resistance into an attitude of cooperation. It also prevents the adult from becoming involved in the stubbornness game. In addition, The Perfect Choice, Intentional Ignoring, Quiet Correction and Positive Redirection also provide the means to avoid unnecessary confrontations rooted in stubbornness.

Adjusting the "me first" or, "I had it first" attitude.

Typically, the adult response to the "I had it first" dispute is deciding who actually had the object first. The next step is commonly rewarding the offended child by giving him whatever it was that was taken away. However, in doing that, we cheat the child out of an opportunity to develop the higher traits of peaceful negotiation, patience and deference.

One of our Magic Handles

-Who will be the first to use courtesy?
-encourages adults to reward generosity.

Another Magic Handle

-May I please be next?
-also encourages patience, honor and generosity.

Changing rudeness into gentleness.

Rudeness is often modeled for a child in the way people interact with each other and/or solve their problems. Children with assertive, insistent dispositions will especially imitate the rudeness they observe in their role models. Their rudeness is then encouraged through the irreverent and raw entertainment of our society. Happily, we find that these same children, with appropriate training, become gentle, caring people. Some tools we use to encourage gentleness include Role Replay, Refreshing Repetition, and OTR.

Responding when your child says "no" to you.

From the time children begin exploring their world, they are hearing the word "no" constantly. Is it any wonder that "no" is one of their first words? A modified form of Intentional Ignoring is an effective tool in this situation. Simply smile and say, "We say, okay to Mommy," and then carry on as though the child has agreed with you. The truth is, showing a child what TO do more consistently than what NOT to do will gradually reduce the word "no" in both your and your child's vocabularies.