QuikTips by Subject:The Think Space
The Think Space is a plan to help children take responsibility for their own behavioral choices while offering adults a safe and responsible way to remove themselves from the emotional loop of misbehavior. QuikTips Bundles
QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. Bundled in small packets, and arranged by topic for easy reference. Main Menu
Everything you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. |
What are QuikTips?QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles, written by Calvin and Carolyn Richert, that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. All techniques presented meet strict scientific and ethical guidelines and have been carefully "road-tested" for effectiveness in everyday use. Every method is thoroughly positive and, when used as intended, can help children develop skills of self-management, confidence, empathy and the many other positive character qualities needed in becoming well-adjusted, productive adults. Also available for purchase: QuikTips Bundles are pre-printed small packets, arranged by topic for easy reference. Teaching Accountability
Positive Confrontation"Mommy, Jasmine hit me!" "Daddy, Bobbie won't give me my doll!" 
Summer's about here. The kids will be home and, unless you do something really different, you'll probably find yourself in the middle of an ongoing stream of tattling not unlike what you just read.
Self-AwarenessThree-year-old Danny has just shoved his little brother to the ground again...the third time in as many minutes! You are furious. "Danny," you explode. "Don't do that! Go say 'sorry' to your brother right now!" 
Your anger is understandable. Danny knows better. Your frustration is predictable. You have talked with Danny about not being so rough with his brother until you are both "blue in the face."
Finding Truth W/O Condemning
It happens somewhere every day. Johnny and Susie are playing together when Johnny suddenly starts crying. Susie, trying to look innocent, just sits there and does nothing to help her brother. Your first response? Either compassion for Johnny and his problem or indignation at Susie's insensitivity.
A Child's Claim to SuccessYou start to help Ricky get into the car, only to be brushed back with, "No, I do it by myself." 
And so it goes. On the one hand, you want your child to be self-reliant...but maybe not so soon. After all, wasn't it just yesterday that you had to do everything for him? Now he acts like he doesn't even want you near him...except when he decides he needs you. It's enough to make you crazy! So, where's the balance?
Fuss, Ignore or Work It Out"Mommy! Rosa keeps taking my crayons." 
Your disgust kicks in. "That girl is going to get it," you think to yourself. "She is constantly irritating her brother. What's worse, she seems to enjoy it."
(Practice, Practice, Practice)It's time for Amanda to put her coat on. This time her mother is doing the honors. Her father whispers to me, "Watch what happens now." 
You see, Amanda had already made a habit of throwing tantrums over wearing her coat, so Daddy knew what to expect.
Good idea...or bad?"You're mean!"..."You're not fair!"... "I don't like you!"..."I want my mommy."..."I'm going to tell on you." 
Objections to your leadership just gush out of Jacob's mouth! What to do? If you DO answer back, you may be reinforcing wrong behavior. If you DON'T say something, you may be encouraging it.
"Daddy, Daddy! Kindra hit me!" 
Two-year-old Noel storms indignantly toward her daddy for comfort. Gently, he picks her up and asks, "Now Noel, what were you doing when she hit you?" Sheepishly, Noel lowers her head and mumbles, "Shoving her." |
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