Good idea...or bad?
"You're mean!"..."You're not fair!"... "I don't like you!"..."I want my mommy."..."I'm going to tell on you."
Objections to your leadership just gush out of Jacob's mouth! What to do? If you DO answer back, you may be reinforcing wrong behavior. If you DON'T say something, you may be encouraging it.
It's especially awkward when you're with people outside your immediate family. If you DON'T do something, what will they think? But, if you DO react, the situation could get worse! Years of experience have taught us several ideas about this kind of "nonsense" that are consistently dependable:
In general, just ignore "nonsense", especially the first time an inappropriate expression is used. When you answer "nonsense" at that moment, you really DO encourage more of the same. Why? Because your child is probably just trying to get a reaction out of you. But, not reacting may be enough to discourage a repeat performance.
However, if it happens again, you need to address the situation with certain guidelines:
You can smile and carry on as if the child has said nothing. If you detect that the child's "nonsense" is nothing more than an effort to upset you, your best plan may be to ignore whatever "nonsense" he is spouting and not address it at all.
Other times, smile and carry on for the moment, then talk later ("off-trauma") when things have settled down. You do this when you sense the child truly has an issue that needs to be addressed, but not at the moment of stress.
When "nonsense" happens in public, you can politely excuse yourself and your child to another area away from other people. Once there, you firmly, but quietly help your child practice the words that are appropriate in that situation.
Sometimes your child just needs a quick reminder like, "Jacob, is that good sense or nonsense?" Once the child has admitted that his words or behavior are "nonsense", say, "Now, will you please show me "good sense"? Chances are, he will quickly correct himself and nothing more will need to be said.
