QuikTips by Subject:The Think Space
The Think Space is a plan to help children take responsibility for their own behavioral choices while offering adults a safe and responsible way to remove themselves from the emotional loop of misbehavior. QuikTips Bundles
QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. Bundled in small packets, and arranged by topic for easy reference. Main Menu
Everything you say to a child either builds him up or tears him down. |
What are QuikTips?QuikTips is a series of short, practical articles, written by Calvin and Carolyn Richert, that feature easy-to-use tools for low-stress child management. All techniques presented meet strict scientific and ethical guidelines and have been carefully "road-tested" for effectiveness in everyday use. Every method is thoroughly positive and, when used as intended, can help children develop skills of self-management, confidence, empathy and the many other positive character qualities needed in becoming well-adjusted, productive adults. Also available for purchase: QuikTips Bundles are pre-printed small packets, arranged by topic for easy reference. Teaching Accountability
You still have leverage!"How do I get my child to listen?" - a question we frequently hear from exasperated parents. 
It's a common issue that can leave you feeling pretty helpless, especially if you are committed to managing without threats or other fear-based tools.
Less Stress - More Success: Part 1 of 3"It's time to take out the trash, Shawna," mother reminds her very "busy" 6-year-old. "Okay mom," Shawna responds cheerfully, "I'll be glad to do it because it's so good for me!" Is that the way it goes at your house? "Are you kidding?" you snicker. "My kids are more likely to run and hide than to answer that way."
Pursuing Excellence With Diligence: Part 2 of 3Anyone who studies how people excel in life knows that routines and rituals are almost always part of their success. However, when it comes to using those techniques for managing children - especially at home - our better judgment often gives way to the demands of the moment. In fact, we tend to allow outside activities and spontaneous requests from our kids to dictate how we use what little home life remains. In other words, family and personal activities that build strong character are frequently displaced by more 'exciting' things - sleepovers, soccer practices, parties, movies.
Where The Rubber Meets The Road!: Part 3 of 3"Alisha. It's time to do your homework." "Okay, mom. I'll be right there," What a pleasant exchange between mother and daughter! But, it wasn't always that way. Why the difference? Changes like this don't just happen. They are the result of conscious adjustments.
"Mommy, why are those clouds white?" "Daddy, why do I have to wear shoes in the restaurant?" Most children are delightfully curious about life, often asking questions 'ad infinitum'! Sometimes you'd like to just switch them off. But then, they are learning, and that's a good thing. The trouble is that we usually just go ahead and answer the questions - like their personal Obi-Wan Kenobis - and miss great opportunities to help them learn to think.
". . . SHOW ME HOW THAT WORKS"Simply put, four-year-old Abby is too rough with her baby sister. In fact, you fear for her safety. Whatever the reason - jealousy or abundant energy - you need to help Abby be more gentle with her baby sister before something serious happens. But, you have corrected Abby 753 times, with no apparent change. Consider this . . . what if every time you talk with her about being gentle, you end with, "Now, would you please show me how that works?"
". . . SHOW ME HOW YOU DID THAT"Snack time is finished and your child goes to wash his hands and face. But, as he emerges from the washroom, you still see milk and cookies on his lips. What to do? A) Bark a direct command: "Alec, go back and wash your face!" B) Ask, "Did you wash your face?" Then, when he says, "Yes", you say, "Well, you sure didn't do a very good job!" or reprimand him with, "Don't lie to me, Alec!" C) Or, you can say, "Would you please show me how you did that?" Which choice will help your child the most in the long run?
Integrity in search of an ownerYou turn the corner just in time to see your two preschoolers throwing toy cars at each other. Naturally, you’re irritated because they both know better. You know you have to do something. But, before you can do anything, your five-year-old spouts that tired old saw, “He did it first!” 
It’s an old ploy – as old as the human race – to deflect one’s own responsibility to another person. We all do it at some level, so before you go off on your older son for his irresponsible choice, take a deep breath. |
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