". . . SHOW ME HOW THAT WORKS"
Simply put, four-year-old Abby is too rough with her baby sister. In fact, you fear for her safety. Whatever the reason - jealousy or abundant energy - you need to help Abby be more gentle with her baby sister before something serious happens.
But, you have corrected Abby 753 times, with no apparent change.
Consider this . . . what if every time you talk with her about being gentle, you end with, "Now, would you please show me how that works?"
Then, watch while she shows you how she can use 'gentle hands' with her sister. While one time will not do the whole job, over time, she will adjust - guaranteed!
The fact is, had you done that from the start, your child would have learned gentleness by now. Instead, you are obliged to keep on reminding Abby 'ad nauseum'!
- IT'S COMMON SENSE! You see, most people - especially children - learn by doing. We know that. We just aren't very good at applying that fact when it comes to training children.
- LEARNING BY DOING! After all, children naturally LOVE to show what they can do. And, it's good for their personal development. In fact, that's their most efficient path of learning.
- CONNECTING THE DOTS! That's why we're here . to help you apply common sense to the delicate task of raising children.
You can apply this technique in a thousand ways. Here are two:
1) Your child keeps getting more and more toys out before putting anything back. You carefully teach him how to put one toy away before getting another out, and finish with, "Now, would you please show me how that works?" Then watch him show you.
2) Your three-year-old keeps fiddling with things at the grocery store. You quietly explain that he may walk outside the cart as long as he keeps his hands in his own space.
You finish with, "Would you please show me how that works?" then watch while he walks with you, keeping his hands to himself.
How do we suggest reinforcing a child's newfound success? A simple and sincere "Thank you for . . . " is the safest and most effective reinforcement we have found.
