“Good morning, Calvin.” It was three-year-old Matthew coming into my office to greet me.
“Well, good morning, Matthew,” I countered. “How are you doing today?”
“Just great, thank you. And how are you doing?”
His quick, unassuming response nearly knocked me off my chair because no child his age had ever greeted or answered me with such maturity.
How did he learn such courtesy? Later that day, I learned that his parents use that and other courtesies at home as normal ‘M.O.’. So, when similar situations present themselves, he is ready with appropriate answers…and questions.
Which makes the point: such not-so-common expressions of conversational courtesy must be taught. However, if you expect your children to use the manners you teach, you must also use them with the children on a daily basis.
What are these important but not-so-common conversational courtesies?
- Responding courteously when spoken to. Not just timidly or quietly, but clearly and confidently.
- Looking the person in the eye who is talking to them instead of looking down as most children tend to do until taught to do otherwise.
- Asking courteous and relevant questions of the other person. Help your child think ahead about things they could ask a person they are about to meet.
- Learning to shake hands when greeted. Teach them to grip the other person’s hand firmly, then give a couple of energetic pumps with hand in place.
- Faithfully using the may-I-please interrupt signal that we detail in “Between a Rock and a Hard Place” (godwd.com / QuikTips Articles).
All these things can be taught quickly and painlessly by practicing them ahead of time. We explain how to do that in the article, “Before It Happens Again: Practice, practice, practice” (godwd.com / QuikTips Articles).
You can be sure that, as your children learn to use the above courtesies spontaneously and with confidence, that they will provide ‘a breath of fresh air’ wherever they go AND will be fondly remembered by everyone who is touched by their grace.
Besides, your children will eventually be grateful for your training, for people who practice these ‘uncommon courtesies’ inevitably go farther in life, more quickly and with less stress and strain.
