Is it really possible?
I can hear it now. With that crazy half-talk, half-cry voice, your child begs, "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" Questions about whining come to us frequently. That figures, because whining is one of the most difficult childhood habits to manage.
We have some suggestions, but let's first ask, "How does a child get into that habit in the first place?" Consider this. The first way a child makes her wants or needs known is through the cry. Next, she learns to talk. But, since mere talking is sometimes not very effective, or she hasn't yet learned many words, she adds the cry sound. Now, because that very irritation combination is so effective, it becomes a habit, because children repeat behaviors that work and discard behaviors that don't work.
So, how do we keep whining from working?
Never, ever give in to or even address what the child is asking for with a whine. Instead, adopt a single response like, "Come to me when you're finished with your whine." Or, "I'll answer you when you talk to me with a big girl voice" (or, quiet voice, kind voice, etc.).
When your child asks correctly, thank her for talking with a "big girl voice". You can even turn to another person - or the teddy bear - and ask, "Did you hear how nicely Kim asked for a cookie?"
In plain language, every time you answer what a whine is about, you encourage the same thing to happen again. But, when you wait for an acceptable request, you discourage whining the next time.
Later, when the atmosphere between you is relaxed, talk to your child about her whining habit in a calm, loving way.
After you talk, help your child practice saying with an appropriate voice what she is likely to say with a whine.
Finally, listen to yourself. Chances are, your child is learning some of this habit from you, especially when you have to correct something where your child knew better but didn't do better.
If you will consistently and patiently follow this plan, you will gradually see the whining habit melt away, guaranteed!
