Is there something better?

But wait. Why did she say that? Was it really "OK" that Germaine pushed Allie down? Of course not. But isn't that what she said? Yes, but it's not what she meant. Still, everyone says it. So, why not just use, "That's OK?"

• First, it's not OK that Germaine was rough and rude. Anyone knows that...except possibly, Germaine!

• Second, "That's OK" sends a subtle, but unintentional message to Germaine that it's OK to be rough and rude as long as he apologizes right away.

• Third, as long as he thinks that way, Germaine will probably not change the way he treats his sister when she gets in the way. Whether you're a parent or a teacher, you know the drill. Child makes a mistake: you confront the child with his wrongdoing: child insists, "But I said 'sorry'," as if that is supposed to fix everything.

So, how do children get this mindset? We think it is largely because of the way we teach them to receive apologies...which is neither corrective nor honest. Still, we do it because we want to promote forgiveness and help restore damaged relationships.

But, if this practice isn't the best, what shall we use in its place?

Here's our suggestion: when accepting an apology, teach your children to respond with a simple, "Thank you." This response does all the right things:

• It says the right thing to the offender; i.e., "Thanks for the apology."

• "Thank you" keeps from giving the impression that the offensive behavior is somehow OK if it is followed by an apology.

• It leaves the door open for either person to expand on the incident, whether by the offender or by the offended person.

• In the end, you are teaching your child accurate language, which will "trickle down" to positively affect all other areas of life and language.