Taking turns
"May I please be next?"
Would you believe, that one little line does more to regulate "turns" than rules could ever accomplish?
When we introduced two computers into our preschool classroom several years ago, we wondered how we were going to manage the inevitable competition for keyboard time.
Then we discovered the word "next" and "the rest is history," as we say. We have applied that expression to everything from computers to playground situations, almost always with stress-free success.
It's amazing. Look at what is happening inside the child with the use of that one simple expression.
- He is acknowledging the other child's right to the item or privilege.
- He is setting up an orderly transfer of privilege from one person to another.
- He is asking a courteous question that the other child may accept or reject. (However, the record shows that when asked in this way, most children will honor the request with little or no hesitation.)
- He is asking a question that requires the use of patience. (Contrary to a child's normal bent toward impatience, this technique seems to help children be far more patient than normal.)
So, the next time Aaron complains that Jamie won't let him use the Game Boy, instead of forcing yourself onto the situation, just say to Aaron, "Did you ask if you could please be next?"
Chances are that will solve the problem. However, Aaron may have asked, and Jamie isn't cooperating. Try this. You go to Jamie (avoid hollering across the room) and ask,
"Jamie, did Aaron ask you if he could please be next?"
If Jamie denies that Aaron asked, rather than get into the "Yes I did - No you didn't" exchange, just have Aaron ask again while you're there.
On the other hand, say Jamie agreed when Aaron asked to be next, but is continuing play with no end in sight. Try this. Again, you go to Jamie and ask, "Jamie, did Aaron ask if he could please be next?"
And suppose "wise-guy" Jamie says, "Yes, but I didn't say when." That is hen you help Aaron by setting up some kind of breaking point with Jamie, such as when the present round is over or in five minutes.
The point is that you are enabling your children to manage their own "turns" by teaching them to use a tool that encourages courtesy, honor and patience.
