‘Highs & Lows’ as sparkplugs for communication
“OK, kids. It’s time for ‘Hi’s and Lo’s’!” you remind your family as you sit down for supper and some family time.
In a world of soccer games, music lessons, homework, Cub Scouts and sleepovers, family time is often shoved aside to accommodate the next deadline.
Funny, isn’t it, how we allow less important things rule the more important? Still, there are huge benefits to actually taking the time – at the expense of other important things – to do the more important.
Among those ‘more important’ things is an exercise we call ‘Hi’s and Lo’s’.
The idea is that each person in the family – children and adults – is asked two basic questions about their day. (Or, if your family time is in the morning, you can review yesterday.) The questions?
- "What was your low point today?"
- "What was your high point today?"
Questions like that can go a long way toward nudging children beyond irritating, empty answers to how their day went, like, “Nothing.” or “You wouldn’t understand.”, or, worse yet, “Aw, Mom, bug off!”
The idea is to help children to think through their day and to give you, their parent or care provider, additional insight about what’s going on inside that child. After all, more and more research points out how important emotional well being is in the overall success of one’s time on earth.
Then, moving beyond those two basic questions is another question that may be even more important than the first ones. After each of the ‘hi’ and ‘lo’ questions, ask, “What did you learn from that?”
In so doing, you gently help a child consciously extract meaning from his life experiences. Can you imagine the long-term outcomes of such a daily exercise?
- The kids open up about their lives.
- They learn basic communication skills.
- They get in touch with their feelings.
- They experience the beginning of critical thinking skills.
- The rest of the family learns to better know and appreciate one another.
If you will take just a few minutes each day to follow this plan, you will be forever grateful. You will lay the foundations of ongoing relationships that will bless you and each member of your family for the rest of your and their lives. Now, just do it!
