Transitions Made Simple
"Ferggie, hurry up. We've got to get going. You're going to make us late!"
It's a familiar scene. You want your child to finish a task, but schedules and events don't wait. So, you urge your child to hurry up and finish whatever.
In reality, the issue is transitions. Dozens of transitions arise daily. However, over 50% of all conflicts between children and the adults in their lives involve transitions.
How to reduce those conflicts? Enter the humble 3-minute timer!
In Ferggie's case, we would simply say to her, "Honey, in three minutes we need to get ready for school." We would then start a 3-minute sand timer and say, "When the timer is finished, breakfast time is finished."
Then, when the sand finishes falling, you simply gather up whatever is left of her meal and excuse her to the washroom.
You'll probably find that her competitive side will perk up and she'll end up making a game of beating the timer!
However, if she complains, you simply remind her when the next time to eat will be and continue on. No fussing or arguing. Instead, you have used the humble timer to manage the situation.
The same technique can be used for dozens of other situations, from getting dressed to finishing a game to picking up toys.
One of Maria Montessori's great contributions to children was her teaching about 'work cycles'. The 3-minute timer is a wonderfully relevant tool to help a child bring closure to his or her present work cycle in a gentle but graphic way.
- You replace your 'policeman' role with the timer.
- Your child is much less likely to argue with the timer than with you.
- You are using a developmentally responsible approach to bridging transitions.
- You are enhancing your relationship with your child by reducing conflict.
So, the next time you go to the store, pick up a couple of those little gems. (Look for them in stores like K-Mart, & Wal-Mart, Bed, Bath & Beyond or Organization Plus. Also, enter '3-minute timers' in your favorite Internet search engine.)
In the end, you'll find that the transitions in your life will smooth out and you'll enjoy your children more than ever.
