Here's a great question that we recently received over the internet.
THE QUESTION: "How do you get kids to get ready to go places without constant reminders / nagging / yelling?"
OUR RESPONSE: * This may seem radical, but it is totally logical and the consequences are totally natural. You will only need to do this exercise one or two times with most children, but everyone will benefit for years to come.
The key to this procedure is YOU. You must avoid threatening, yelling or coaxing, stay calm at all times, and have no "attitude" in your actions or words. (After all, your children probably procrastinate to enjoy the entertainment you provide!)
We suggest that the first time, you do this with your spouse or partner, especially if more than one child is involved.
1) Several hours before leaving, clearly tell the kids where you are going and when you are leaving. Then, have each child tell you what you said. Keep the consequences a secret.
2) Once an hour before you leave, remind them when you are leaving. In the final hour, remind them 30 minutes before and again 15 minutes before departure.
3) AT EXACTLY THE TIME PLANNED, pick up the children "as is," buckle them in the car and go. (For older children, you will need to be more creative.*)
Once on the way, you ignore any cries, threats or other flack from the kids. It is also VERY important that you avoid more explanation. They will get the message much faster without words than with words!
If the place you are going requires a dress code, before leaving home, quickly stuff any remaining items into a bag and bring them with you.
4) When you arrive at your destination, deposit the children and their bags where you would normally deliver them and, if necessary, quietly explain to the supervising adult what has happened. Give the supervising adult the choice of allowing the children to finish getting ready or to not allow it.
5) When you pick up your children, avoid discussing what happened, especially any comment like, "You got what you deserved." Instead, if the child complains about being embarrassed, just say you're sorry about that.
You then ask, "What are you going to do next time?" If the child avoids answering, ask the same question one more time. Now, either compliment him for a fine plan or stay quiet.
6) The next time you have a place to go, start out the same way - advance notices, etc. If they ask if it's going to be like last time, the answer is, "THAT'S up to YOU." Strictly avoid any argument on the subject.
Stick to these guidelines, and you will see success, GUARANTEED!
