(Routine – Ritual – Repetition)
"But Mommy, I can't do it," whines 4-year-old Ricky as he struggles with tying his shoes. Remembering a famous quote of Henry Ford -- "Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right," -- Mommy wonders what to do.
No doubt, her son will eventually learn to tie his shoes. Her concern is his quick, “I can’t do it.” The challenge here is her son’s lack of confidence. She knows that confidence will be the centerpiece of Ricky’s success in life. But, how to get there from here.
We have discovered three “R” words that provide a great formula for the building of confidence. Although they are similar, they each have a distinct role.
ROUTINE - Children love to know what's happening next. In fact, it's that very foundation on which their confidence is best built. Yet, as adults who love variety and spontaneity, we often unconsciously frustrate the growth of confidence – and a child’s sense of order – by failing to recognize and honor their need for routine.
RITUAL - A child's confidence is enhanced by doing things the same way every time. This need in children can become a true frustration to adults. But, when you realize that you are seeing one of the most important aspects of life growing right before your eyes, you gladly support it!
REPETITION - As an extension of both routine and ritual, here is where you understand that a child's natural bent to do things over and over is actually their way of deepening their sense of confidence. Whether it's reading the same story, playing the same game -- or whatever -- you need to support your child’s drive for repetition.
So, how will Ricky’s mother help him become more confident? By:
1) Helping him repeat over and over the tasks she wants him to learn,
2) Using the same basic schedule every day,
3) Helping him do those tasks in specific ways.
Educators call this practice “patterning”. Whatever YOU call it, remember that when developing skills, all the other parts of life will “grow” better when confidence is the foundation.
