(What Children Learn Best)
Which is more powerful: what children HEAR or what they SEE? It’s one of those questions that has no perfect answer, but this we do know. If we contradict what we SAY with what we DO, our actions have more influence... every time!
- You insist that the kids use gentle hands with each other, but when Sean whacks his brother on the head for no apparent reason, you instinctively give him a swift slap on the hands. Oops! Did you remember that the kids are listening with their eyes?
- You talk to them until you’re blue in the face about doing their chores before watching TV, but they see you do the same thing before the dishes are done or the yard is mowed. You feel fine about your choice of priorities, but in their eyes, things don’t add up because they are listening with their eyes.
They may not say anything... not now. Perhaps they aren’t seeing things clearly yet. They could feel intimidated, or just too scared to speak up.
While our words are extremely important, what we DO can totally defeat what we SAY. On the other hand, what we DO can be a terrific reinforcement for what we SAY. This door does swing both ways, after all.
- You talk about giving to others. Then you and your children help your elderly neighbor rake his yard. Suddenly, the kids “see” what being generous and kind-hearted means in “real time.”
- It’s so difficult to teach the kids about worthwhile priorities. Then they see you reading a book instead of watching TV. Instinctively, they “see” what you mean about choosing priorities of value.
- You want them to understand the importance of family. Then, you decide to take a week off work just to be with them. Now the kids “see” what you mean about making family a priority.
A thousand times a day, our children “listen” with their eyes. You may try to ignore it, even deny it. Or, you can use it to your benefit – and theirs. Whatever your choice, this is a rock-solid truism: “Children listen with their eyes!”
