Making your words work... the FIRST time!

It’s a common practice. After multiple calls or commands are ignored, in desperation, you shout, “...AND I MEAN IT!”

Chances are, you get action, but at what cost? Stop and think what you’ve done.

• You've trained your child to delay his response until you say, “I MEAN IT!”
• You've implied that your first directives didn't really mean anything.
• You've played into your child’s game of seeing how far he can push you.
• You've dramatically increased the stress of guiding your children.

Children are known for ignoring directives that would interrupt present activity. Don’t worry. It comes with the territory. But, that doesn’t make it right.

Here are some strategies that can help you communicate with your kids the FIRST time.

• Avoid nagging. When you direct a child toward action, do it only once. Then, “Manage from your feet, not from your seat.” So, go TO the child and help him get started.
• Avoid whining. Children who whine usually learn it from their parents. When you re-correct or re-direct, is your tone of voice patient, or is there an edge of impatience?
• Look your child in the eyes. Parents whose children ignore their calls habitually talk to the back of heads.
• State your instructions or requests in a respectful way. In other words, give them the same respect you ask of them.
• Give advance notice of a change in activity or focus. This practice increases respect for you and helps your child get ready for your next call.
• Confirm what your child has heard. When you direct your child, ask him what he heard or understands.
• Avoid any kind of threat or warning. You've asked that toys be picked up before a bedtime story, but the toys aren’t picked up, so you quietly skip the story that evening. When your child complains, simply say, “You’ll need to miss your story tonight, but I’m sure you’ll pick up your toys on time tomorrow night.”

Now, go and have a better time than ever with your kids, “...and I mean it!”