Solving the biting habit
“Mommy! Amy bite me!”
With irritation, sadness and insecurity, you scold, “Amy! You know we don’t bite. Say sorry to Barry right now!”
But, nagging questions linger; “Did I handle that right? How long until it happens again? What will ever teach this child to stop biting?”
True, it’s a thorny issue. Advice on the subject is a mixed bag – from a parent biting the child back so he will feel the pain, to biting on carrots!
So far, it seems that no actual research has been done to give clear guidance.
On the other hand, we have discovered a practice that has been 100% successful. It’s totally safe and teaches quickly without scolding or punishment.
Here’s the plan:
- First, you react quickly, but take care to stay calm, because an excited reaction provides an unintentional reward to the biter.
- Next, with heart-felt sympathy, you show the biter how she has hurt the other person.
- Now, you go to the refrigerator (freezer) and pull out a ‘Booboo Bunny’ or a reasonable substitute. (We use small packages of frozen peas, corn or blueberries.)
- Then, you have the biter hold the ‘Booboo Bunny’ on the bite for a few minutes. While you help her keep it there, you continue to comment on how biting has hurt this child.
- At the same time, both you and the biter use gentle hands and comforting words to soothe the offended child’s hurt feelings. You both stay with the offended child as long as she is showing signs of upset.
- Now, you ask the biter, “How do we use our teeth?” You’re looking for, “Eating food.” Also ask, “Where do you keep your teeth?” You’re looking for, “I keep them to myself.”
- Finally, after removing the ‘Booboo Bunny’, you have the offender play for a few minutes with the offended child in an activity of the bitten child’s choosing. It doesn’t need to last long, just enough to restore a friendly relationship between the two children.
Experience shows that after just two or three such treatments, the biting child ceases to use her teeth to hurt others. Best of all, she stops using her teeth as tools of persuasion out of respect for other people and not out of fear of an impending punishment.
It’s as simple as that!
