Handling your child-induced frustration
Today, your normally sweet little girl seems determined to push every button you have. You know you need to stay calm. You might even succeed. But, just under the surface, your anger and frustration are boiling.
So, you admit, "I'm learning how to handle my child's upsets. But, what do I do with MY emotions?"
It's a worthy question, for suppressed feelings inevitably ooze their way out in subtle, but inappropriate ways. We may not even realize it's happening.
Gratefully, there is hope. We have found several keys to dramatically reducing frustration and anger when it comes to managing children.
1) Understand Possible Damages - When you really understand the damage that can happen inside a child through harsh "discipline", you quite naturally restrain yourself. After all, you do love that child, and would never knowingly do anything to harm her.
2) Understand What Makes Children Tick - There are some things that are amazingly consistent in children: that they are largely motivated by creating reactions in the world around them; that children need time and space to process the conflicts in their lives; that positive direction is more enduring than negative restraint.to name a few.
3) Learn New Skills & Tools - Most frustration comes from not knowing what to do with the challenges your child is presenting at the moment. That's why you need to learn additional parenting skills. There are many good ideas being circulated these days, but be sure to take advantage of our 50+ QuikTips articles on parenting tools at our website, www.dwd.com.
4) Meditate & Prepare - You will benefit greatly if you to get up BEFORE the kids, even if only for a few minutes. Replay and learn from yesterday's events. Think forward into today: imagine calm ways of handling sensitive situations with foresight and dignity. Read something uplifting and pray for resourcefulness. Forgive yourself for yesterday: give thanks for another chance to do it right.
This is only a start, but now you have an outline for managing your own emotions. This successful plan has been a way of helping many adults gain confidence and effectiveness, and it can do the same for you.
